18 Aug 2017
A beautiful cool breeze is blowing through the cottage, the sun is gloriously warm and weather now not as hot as last few days have been. But still in my dressing gown - its the weekend... ok?
A few new rouge young Black Cockatoo fledglings have arrived this morning, hell bent on annoying me, but Rex seems to now understand "Bad Birdy" and takes off after them...then comes back just as quickly, oh yes you was making TOAST wasn't you mum?
Mashing soft butter into fresh scrambled eggs - organic and golden yellow. One day I'll make my own butter, but for now IGA will do. Coffee done, poured, ready to write. Its been a very busy week. And today will be no different.
Its a milestone moment this morning. I have already spread 5 rows but have to inoculate another 3 rows of lower orchard with my first batch of IMO5. "What's the point of that", you ask? It means I now know how much each IMO batch will cover and how much it will cost - plus its the basis to the nutrition and conditioning program for the farm. Eventually the hole farm, all 40 acres will be covered in this product.
Then there's the sprayer to empty and flush out, the FAA to check on (a very smelly 4 buckets of fermenting fish - eek) around 5 trees to prune with chainsaw, tree stumps to paint over, the slasher to hook up to the John Deere tractor, the dams to check over for snakes as they are drying up now (Rex will love that), tools to clean up and reorganise into a recharged Ute, and then some wine, maybe. Oh and a few irrigation lines to repair (must not forget that).
However the bigger milestone has been completing the second week of the PTSD program. Even 3 days a week is exhausting, considering its all mental work, and no obvious physical stuff. Sitting in a classroom, with a group of 9 other clients, we all face the same challenge. Just turning up each day.
I wont disclose anything about anyone else on this blog because that's confidential, but I will tell you how the psycho education we are receiving is benefiting me. Who would of thought that just learning about PTSD with the inclusion of Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Addictions and Sleep, would open my mind to how to recover. To just know that these are the main areas of concern for a PTSD sufferer has given me so much hope and insight. I feel so much more empowered now. Just got to apply the principles and test them out each day.
1. Anxiety.
This being the first one I typed, is also ironically my worst. Also known as FEAR. Understanding what it is and how it feels, is also the first and biggest step to overcoming it. Who would have known that all human brains are pre wired to be anxious? Its the ability to scan the horizon, the room for threat that makes our brains anxious... because we must engage our survival instinct.
That's in all of us. We all know what fear feels like right?
So I am sitting in this classroom...the topic for the day is Anxiety. Just Greaty Pants! That's all I need.
Tightness in chest is rising...like a mild pain that is constant or a feeling of soles of feet with pins and needles in chest cavity but painful. It wont stop. I am scanning the room involuntarily. I sense my heart rate increasing, my breathing is short and staccato, my hands are twitching. Am I sweating?
Hold on sunshine! That's it - your feeling the bodily sensation of anxiety/fear. You are not in danger. You are safe . Look at the differences!! You are not in Iraq; in an armed convoy; an interrogation room....you are safe...its ok. Breath in, breath out.
I remember an anxiety attack I had last year, when I was so caught off guard with it that I thought briefly it was a heart attack, so intense was the chest pain. The trigger was a simple word on a news programme - "translator" Why? Because that's what I was in Iraq in 2004 - an interpreter who worked in a prison....total shit job.( More on that another time). I heard the word and remember a instantaneous flash of memory...then the pain started. But right now, in the classroom the anxiety is milder, and know I now what it is when it happens. Big win - now I know.
That's the power of this psycho education. Learning about the condition and how it feels.
Don't worry folks this wont turn into some sort of internet rant, but when you have PTSD the knowledge of understanding the condition and gaining some support is simply ...well, awesome.
Have a great day. I'm off to play with a tractor.
A beautiful cool breeze is blowing through the cottage, the sun is gloriously warm and weather now not as hot as last few days have been. But still in my dressing gown - its the weekend... ok?
A few new rouge young Black Cockatoo fledglings have arrived this morning, hell bent on annoying me, but Rex seems to now understand "Bad Birdy" and takes off after them...then comes back just as quickly, oh yes you was making TOAST wasn't you mum?
Mashing soft butter into fresh scrambled eggs - organic and golden yellow. One day I'll make my own butter, but for now IGA will do. Coffee done, poured, ready to write. Its been a very busy week. And today will be no different.
Its a milestone moment this morning. I have already spread 5 rows but have to inoculate another 3 rows of lower orchard with my first batch of IMO5. "What's the point of that", you ask? It means I now know how much each IMO batch will cover and how much it will cost - plus its the basis to the nutrition and conditioning program for the farm. Eventually the hole farm, all 40 acres will be covered in this product.
Then there's the sprayer to empty and flush out, the FAA to check on (a very smelly 4 buckets of fermenting fish - eek) around 5 trees to prune with chainsaw, tree stumps to paint over, the slasher to hook up to the John Deere tractor, the dams to check over for snakes as they are drying up now (Rex will love that), tools to clean up and reorganise into a recharged Ute, and then some wine, maybe. Oh and a few irrigation lines to repair (must not forget that).
However the bigger milestone has been completing the second week of the PTSD program. Even 3 days a week is exhausting, considering its all mental work, and no obvious physical stuff. Sitting in a classroom, with a group of 9 other clients, we all face the same challenge. Just turning up each day.
I wont disclose anything about anyone else on this blog because that's confidential, but I will tell you how the psycho education we are receiving is benefiting me. Who would of thought that just learning about PTSD with the inclusion of Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Addictions and Sleep, would open my mind to how to recover. To just know that these are the main areas of concern for a PTSD sufferer has given me so much hope and insight. I feel so much more empowered now. Just got to apply the principles and test them out each day.
1. Anxiety.
This being the first one I typed, is also ironically my worst. Also known as FEAR. Understanding what it is and how it feels, is also the first and biggest step to overcoming it. Who would have known that all human brains are pre wired to be anxious? Its the ability to scan the horizon, the room for threat that makes our brains anxious... because we must engage our survival instinct.
That's in all of us. We all know what fear feels like right?
So I am sitting in this classroom...the topic for the day is Anxiety. Just Greaty Pants! That's all I need.
Tightness in chest is rising...like a mild pain that is constant or a feeling of soles of feet with pins and needles in chest cavity but painful. It wont stop. I am scanning the room involuntarily. I sense my heart rate increasing, my breathing is short and staccato, my hands are twitching. Am I sweating?
Hold on sunshine! That's it - your feeling the bodily sensation of anxiety/fear. You are not in danger. You are safe . Look at the differences!! You are not in Iraq; in an armed convoy; an interrogation room....you are safe...its ok. Breath in, breath out.
I remember an anxiety attack I had last year, when I was so caught off guard with it that I thought briefly it was a heart attack, so intense was the chest pain. The trigger was a simple word on a news programme - "translator" Why? Because that's what I was in Iraq in 2004 - an interpreter who worked in a prison....total shit job.( More on that another time). I heard the word and remember a instantaneous flash of memory...then the pain started. But right now, in the classroom the anxiety is milder, and know I now what it is when it happens. Big win - now I know.
That's the power of this psycho education. Learning about the condition and how it feels.
Don't worry folks this wont turn into some sort of internet rant, but when you have PTSD the knowledge of understanding the condition and gaining some support is simply ...well, awesome.
Have a great day. I'm off to play with a tractor.
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